Why God Made Moms

 

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Why God Made Moms – Answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?

1. We’re related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?

1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there,

but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don’t do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

When you’re finished laughing, send this to a Mom.

-Unknown

Adapted from http://boardofwisdom.com

Have Your Friends Made You Into a Chicken?

Who are you hanging out with?

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Flock Chicken Coup

What kind of people do you surround yourself with?

The Law of Attraction or the Law of Magnetism would say that you attract and surround yourself with people similar to yourself. I think if we look around society, we would agree. The rich usually group together with the rich. The positive with the positive. The negative with the negative. The athletes, the computer programmers, the historians, and the artists all tend to find themselves surrounded by people with similar interests, disposition, socioeconomic status, etc.

Have you ever stopped to wonder if your group of friends is indicative of the type of person you are, or whether you are a product of the group of people around you? Did you draw them to you, or did you change to become like them?

I belong to a wonderful group of philanthropic dentists called the Crown Council. One of our mantras is “Birds…

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